


I Hate You, and I Always Will, I Think

by asdfghjll



Category: iCarly
Genre: Hurt-Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-12-17
Updated: 2010-05-08
Packaged: 2013-09-29 19:24:10
Rating: T
Chapters: 21
Words: 22,154
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5587960/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2180151/asdfghjll
Summary: Sam's life at home can't get any worse with her abusive mom & soon to be stepdad she hates, and when Carly leaves on vaction, the only place she can stay is with a certain dork. Seddie. R&R. Rated T for safety.





	1. Chapter 1

Sam's POV

It was another normal Friday night, my mom drunk together with my soon-to-be step-dad that I hate with all my heart. Not something you really want to be around. That's why I need to get out of my house and go to Carly's.

I was about half way there when it started to rain; hard. This is one of the reason's why I hate Seattle.

The rain soaked my hair and all my clothes making it stick to my now freezing cold skin, I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up sick tomorrow.

When I finally got there, Lewbert began yelling at me for making his so called "clean" floor wet.

I knocked on the door of Carly's room and waited for her to come and let me in so I could dry myself.

"Carly! Hurry up!" I groaned in frustration.

"Hey Sam-whoa what happened to you?!"

"I was on my way to your place and when I was about half way there it started raining really hard. Now can I get some towels before I freeze to death?"

"Yeah, okay."

"Thanks."

"So what are you even doing here at 10 o'clock at night?" she said as she handed me a towel.

"Ran out of ham," I lied smoothly.

"No surprise there I guess," she laughed slightly.

"Hey can I sleep over tonight?"

"Sure."

"Sweet, now I need some ham." She just laughed.

"Leave me alone mom! I don't need a tick bath!" yelled a certain dork outside the door who then started banging on it.

"Yes you do! Do you know how many diseases ticks can carry?!"

"Yes! And I don't even have any ticks!"

"That's because they're working!"

"Carly let me in!" he yelled still banging on the door.

"Okay," she said opening the door just to see Freddie fall on the floor because of his pushing on the door.

"Smooth," I commented.

"What is _she _doing here?"

"None of your business," I shot back.

"Let me guess, it has something to do with ham."

"Really, how'd you know?" I said sarcastically just to receive an eye roll.

"Can I stay here tonight?" he asked.

"Sure," said Carly.

"What?! But Carly, he really _needs_ his tick bath." He just glared at me.

"Sam…" sighed Carly.

"What?"

"Can you guys just get along, please?" I hate when she makes me feel guilty.

"Fine," I said giving in.

"Good, now I need to go take a shower…so don't kill each other."

"No promises." I got glares from both of them. Then Carly left.

"So why were you all wet?" he asked.

"Why do you care?"

"I-I don't, I just wanna know," he stuttered.

"It started raining on my way here, happy?" He just gave a nod.

"Sam, why do you always have to be so…obnoxious?"


	2. Chapter 2

"I am _not_ obnoxious," I said matter-o-factly.

"Yes you are, you can't go five minutes without insulting me or complaining about something."

"Not _every_ five minutes." He rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, I'm not even gonna bother arguing." he shrugged.

"Yeah, because you can't find a good comeback." He stayed silent and ignored me.

"Why are there people in my living room?" said a very tired Spencer coming out from his room.

"Long story," I said.

"How is you wanted ham and my mom tried to give me a tick bath a long story?"

"Because it wastes thirty seconds of my life, and now you just wasted another thirty seconds talking about it."

"Guys," said a voice in the background.

"Yeah well you would have wasted a lot less time if you just explained and not started arguing."

"Guys," the voice repeated a little louder.

"I wasn't the one who started arguing, y-

"You guys!!" yelled Carly at the top of her lungs.

"What?!?" we both asked simultaneously and then exchanged glares.

"Shut up!" she yelled.

"Fine," I said.

"Alright," he sighed.

"Now go to bed or get out." She said firmly.

"Since when are you so strict?"

"Since now, I'm tired of you guys always fighting about every little thing, Spencer and I are going on vacation tomorrow and-

"Wait, you're going on vacation?" I asked surprised.

"Yeah, I told you like a week ago. You weren't even listening to, were you?!"

"I was listening, I just forgot, I'm tired you know." The truth was I wasn't listening, I usually just smile and nod when pretending to listen since most of the time she's talking about some kind of test or something and how I need to study or I'll fail.

"Okay," she said a little suspicious.

"So where were you going again?" I asked. Wow, that was a stupid thing to say.

"Sam!" she yelled.

"What?!"

"You weren't listening! Half of what I said was about where I was going!"

"Well sorry, I just had a lot on my mind that day."

"Yeah, like, let me guess, ham?" commented Freddie.

"Watch it Benson."

"Will you two stop it! Sam, I'm going to Hawaii tomorrow. Now can we all just sleep?!"

"Fine," we both sighed.

the next morning

When I woke up, at first I had no idea where I was since this obviously isn't my room, then I remembered I fell asleep on Carly's couch which is breaking my back. No wonder no one else wanted to sleep here. I looked around to see Carly frantically looking for something.

"Sam! You're awake! Help me find my camera!"

"Wait what time are you leaving?" It was 7 a.m. right now. I'm surprised I woke up.

"7:30," she said still rushing to find her camera.

"7:30!? Why didn't you wake me up earlier?!"

"Because every time I tried to wake you up you said "go away, I'm sleeping" and tried to hit me with a pillow."

"Oh, well, where's the dork?"

"Helping Spencer with something. Now help me find the camera!"

"Why can't you just borrow one?"

"Good point, I'll go ask Freddie!"

"Okay then." Well now that everyone was out of the room and I have nothing to do, why not have a fat cake?

I started eating when it hit me, where the heck am I supposed to stay? I can't stay at my house unless I want to end up in the hospital, and Carly won't let me stay here because last time she let me stay here alone, let's just say she yelled a **lot** when she came back, and she was only gone for about two hours.

"Carly?" I yelled without thinking.

"Yeah?" she said coming back in the room.

"Can I stay here while you're gone?" What am I saying?

"Do you remember at **all** what happened last time?"

"Yeah but I what if I run out of ham and fat cakes at home?" That has to be the stupidest excuse I ever said.

"Then go and _buy _some."

"But what if all the stores run out?" Correction; that has to be the stupidest excuse I ever said.

"Well get some from someone else."

"I can't though."

"Why not?"

"You know people these days; they don't share their ham and fat cakes anymore."

"Just bring the ones we have to your house before we're gone then."

"Yeah but-

"Sam, the answer is no," she said cutting me off.

"Fine," I said giving up. What am I supposed to do now?

"We have to get going soon unless we want to miss the plane!" yelled Spencer.

"We're right here you know, you don't have to yell," I commented.

"Sorry, I'm just so exited! I mean we're going to Hawaii!"

"How did you even get tickets there? They're like impossible to get," I asked.

"Well the lady said that a family had just cancelled because they got sued for something and couldn't afford it anymore and since you guys are famous for iCarly she gave us a discount!"

"I love being famous," Carly laughed.

"Great, now let's GO!" yelled Spencer and then headed into the lobby.

"Well bye guys, don't murder each other while I'm gone," said Carly before she and Spencer left. Where do I go now?


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry I took so long to update, I was really busy and I kept messing this chapter up but here ya go! Hopefully you'll like it, I wasn't even sure if I should post it or not.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly (sadly)**

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I guess I have no choice but to go home now, maybe I could try to steal some of my mom's money to stay at a motel or something, and I should probably go now, I probably look like a total idiot just standing here.

I started to walk home trying to sort out what I was going to do, my mom keeps all her money in a cookie jar up on the fridge because she's dated a lot of guys who ended up getting her money one way or another, but no one would think of her keeping it in a cookie jar.

When I got to the house it felt like one of those horror movies, where you just know something horrible is behind the door.

I peeked through the window in the living room hoping for some kind of miracle that they weren't there. They were. My mom was laying down, drinking a bottle of beer on the couch with her feet on my almost-step-dad's legs who is smoking while watching football on TV. Well at least they aren't in the kitchen.

I opened the door as slowly and quietly as I could, hoping they would be to distracted to notice the noise I was making.

As soon as I was in a wave of horrible smelling smoke hit me, I'm surprised none of us have lung cancer yet.

I wasn't a very tall person and the jar was way in the back on top of the fridge so it would be impossible for me to reach it from the floor so I took one of the chairs keeping the bottom from scraping the floor and set it in front of the fridge. I stood on top of it and tried to reach for it. My hand was only inches away from it when all of a sudden my foot slipped off the chair and I fell down with a loud crash as the chair fell down with me. It took me a minute to realize what danger that little mistake had put me in.

"What the hell is going on here?!" screamed my mom as she made her way in.

"Mom?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"You little b**ch! Trying to steal your own mother's money!"

"Mom it's not what it looks like," what the hell am I saying? That's something you say when you cheat on someone!

"Well I don't care what it is! I'm not just going to let it go like it never happened if that's what you think!" she yelled some more.

"But mom-

Before I could finish she slammed me against the wall and sunk her sharp nails into my skin, which caused me to scream. Then she smashed the glass vase on the table which was full of rotting flowers on the ground and it shattered into a million pieces, and the pushed me right into the pile of razor sharp glass and left me there, also taking the jar incase I still had it in me to steal it, which I definitely didn't right now.

I could feel all the small pieces of glass in my skin, which was bleeding a lot right now causing me to wince in pain. One piece of the glass was a lot bigger than the others, which was pretty much like a knife and was really deep in my arm now.

What am I going to do now? I can't stay here, right now she's probably trying to find a gun to finish me off or something, and the motel thing is screwed. The only thing left is bleeding to death outside or…staying with Freddie, but then he'd probably call the police, have my "parents" arrested, and then I'll have to go to some foster home away from here. Then the pain in my arm came again so I guess I have no choice unless I want to bleed to death.

There's no way I can walk that far so I'll get a taxi, and I'll put on a large coat my mom has laying around so he can't see all the cuts.

I slowly got up and stumbled a little at first but then regained my balance a little. Then I went outside and tried to get a taxi, which took several tries until one person was nice enough to stop.

"Bushwell Plaza," I told the driver as I got in, and he immediately started driving.

The cuts hurt so bad I wanted to cry but I held back the tears and tried to look somewhat normal for the driver until he finally got there.

"How much?" I asked him.

"How much do you have?"

"Umm, $20?" Hey, just because I didn't have _enough_ money, doesn't mean I have _nothing._

"Sure," he responded snatching the $20 from my hand and then took off.

When I got in the elevator I took of my now bloody coat and dropped it on the ground and leaned against the wall as the pain made my eyes water. I stepped out of the elevator and hesitantly walked up to his door and knocked.

"What do y-whoa, what the hell happened?!" said a very shocked Freddie.

"None of your business, just help me!"

"Okay umm…I'll call the hospital!"

"No!" Then I put my hand over my mouth instinctively.

"But you're bleeding!"

"So? It's only a few cuts."

"You have pieces of glass in your skin!"

"I'll just pull them out!"

"And then what, bleed to death?!" I've never seen a dork so panicked in my life.

"Doesn't your psycho mom have like a portable hospital or something?"

"It's called a 'First Aid Kit'."

"Do I look like I care?!"

"No."

"Then go get it!"

"Fine!" Even in situations like these we argue.

About two minutes later he came back with a huge, bright orange case that he opened and then didn't do anything.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked.

"I don't know how to use any of this stuff!"

"Ugh, let me see then!" I demanded looking into the container.

"Tweezers, a needle, and some thread," I stated.

"What?"

"Tweezers to pull out the glass, and the needle & thread to use as stitches." That thought made me wince just thinking of it, even if it was my idea.

"Are you sure you can't just go to the hospital?"

"Yes! Just get the tweezers!"

"Okay, here," he said handing them to me with his hands shaking.

"What? You've never been around blood before or something?"

"I have, just not this much." I just rolled my eyes.

I had no idea what exactly I was doing, I think I need the thread first to close up the huge cut.

"Can you…give me the needle & thread?" He said nothing and gave it to me. I only stared at it for a moment then everything went black.

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**Good? Bad? Too bad to describe in words?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry I haven't been updating in a while, I've been really busy, and i know this chapter is kind of short, but hopefully you'll like it anyway, and please review.**

**P.S. When chapters start losing their life & start to disappear do you just repost them or what?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly :'(**

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I wasn't exactly sure what was going on, I could see Carly crying, wearing a black dress, her hair soaking wet, all her makeup was running, and she was looking down at me. We were outside in the rain, and I tried to speak.

"Carly?" She ignored me, like I was invisible to her, and then walked away. The same thing happened again with different people, no matter how many times I yelled and screamed, they ignored me and walked away.

I started to realize what was going on, I was in a coffin, dead. I tried to move, but I couldn't, and before I knew it, the door of the coffin closed and I started screaming.

My eyes shot open to a blank white ceiling, and I was covered in sweat. I guess it was all a dream. Thank god it was.

"Hey, I think she's awake!" I heard a loud voice as I looked around. There was a needle in my arm going up to a tube and into this plastic thing holding blood that I never learned the name of. I also heard a beeping noise that all those movies seem to have.

I tried to sit up but found that I didn't have that much strength in me.

"Samantha?" said a short man coming up me. He called me Samantha. No one ever calls me that.

"What's going on?" I asked in an urgent voice, even though I already knew.

"You're in the hospital, and you've lost a lot of blood." I told Freddie not to bring me here. He'll pay later though.

"So, tell us how this happened," said the man.

"I was…at my house….and then I accidentally knocked over a vase, and I slipped in the water and fell into the glass," I said pretending to be confused, at least it's partially true.

"So it was an accident?" he asked.

"Yes." What does he think "accidently" means?

"Oh, well you'll need to go home in the morning."

"What?"

"Well your mother doesn't have enough insurance and we've gotten a lot of people in here recently." I thought doctors were supposed to be nice, and make you stay extra days just to make sure you're healed. I guess I was wrong.

"Well you do have your boyfriend here to see you," he said.

"Boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend."

"Oh, well, umm, a friend then."

"Okay…" I said awkwardly as he left, and someone else came in.

"Hey…" said Freddie as he walked in awkwardly.

"I thought I told you not to call the hospital."

"I had to! You'd bleed to death if I didn't!"

"And you'd care, why?"

"Well for one thing, Carly would be mad at me."

"Of course, Carly is the only reason you didn't let me die."

"Sam, I didn't mean it like that."

"Yes you did, Carly is the only thing you ever think about!"

"That's not true-

"Yes it is! You always take **her** side on everything, you always agree with **her**, you never even consider the thought of anyone else but **her**!"

"Sam I-

"Just forget it."

"But that's-

"**Forget it**." He just sighed and left the room. I hate my life.

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**Good? Bad? Horrible?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Heyy peoples, aliens, monsters, robots, fairies or whatever else you are! So here's the next chapter, sorry if it's too 'mushy' or whatever lol, oh and please, please, please answer this question: When the stories start to run out of life, what do you do? Do you just repost them or something? Sorry for begging, I just really need to know lol, hopefully this chapter isn't that bad, and thank you so much to everyone who's reviewed, I really appreciate it, so, thank you, again, and I'm gonna shut up now haha, enjoy! xD**

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That morning I woke up feeling a little better, but not a whole lot, enough to at least be able to sit up. Gotta love progress.

"Good morning Samantha," said the old doctor, again. I would correct him but it's not like I'm staying here forever.

"Morning," I sighed.

"So would you like to call your mom to come and pick you up or-

"No! I mean she's, she's, out of town! Yeah-she has a very important business trip. I'll, umm, call a friend!" What's with all my yelling and stuttering, I gotta get a grip.

"Umm, okay, the phones right there," he said pointing at the desk next to me. Really Captain Duhhh.

Now who the heck am I supposed to call other than Fredork? Carly & Spencer are gone,who else am I friends with, umm, Gibby-no, eww, how dare I even consider that. I really need more friends. I guess I have no choice.

I hesitantly dialed his number into the phone and listened to the ringing sound which only made me more nervous, like in those horror films where you get a phone call from some murderer-I really need to stop watching those.

"Hello?"

"Heyy Fredifer."

"Sam?"

"Yeah, can I ask you a favor?"

"I'm not bringing you any fat cakes-

"It's not about fat cakes!," I almost yelled.

"Then what? I'm not bringing you ham either-

"It's not about food!"

"…"

"Can you, umm, uhh-"

"Just spit it out!"

"Can you pick me up from the hospital?"

"Why?"

"Well my mom's not gonna do it."

"Again, why?"

"I'll explain later, but please just do this for me."

"Did you just say _please_?"

"Yeah, whatever floats your boat, just get down here!"

"Okay..."

I waited for about fifteen minutes for him to finally get here, I think that was the longest fifteen minutes ever.

"Finally your here," I said as he came through the door.

"It was only fifteen minutes."

"Yeah well it should of been two minutes."

"I couldn't do that unless I was going at 200 mph."

"Whatever, let's just go."

"How are you supposed to walk?"

"I don't know, maybe I'll ask to borrow a wheel chair or something."

"Okay then."

"Well?" I asked.

"'Well' what?"

"Aren't you gonna ask for one?"

"Why can't you?"

"Hello? Sick person here!" he rolled his eyes.

"Fine," he said walking up to the doctor.

"Hey, umm can Sam borrow a wheelchair?"

"Sam?"

"Samantha, I mean."

"Sorry, we don't have any available at the moment, and her mom doesn't have enough ensurance to pay for it." What kind of cruel hospital is this?

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, but you can have a lollipop."

"What?"

"They're good, try one-

"I don't need any lollipops!"

"Well then..."

"He said no," said the dork walking back.

"I heard," I said looking down.

"So what now?"

"I don't know, you're the nerd, you come up with something."

"Well I do have one idea, I don't think you'll like it though..."

"What?"

"Well, I could, umm-

"Just spit it out!" Woah, de sha vu. (or however you spell it)

"Well I could, umm, carry you out."

"What?"

"Please don't make me say it again-and don't break my face."

"Fine."

"Well what else-wait, did you just say, fine?"

"Yeah, it's not like it's a marrige proposal." It did feel like one though.

"Oh, okay then." This is gonna be awkward.

Freddie's POV

This is one of the most awkward moments in my life, I can't believe she actually said yes to this. Well, here goes nothing.

I started to lift her up, almost afraid of dropping her, and I think she was afraid of that too, since she wrapped her arms around my neck almost breaking it at first.

I carried her bridal style all the way to my car, I almost didn't want to put her down, and she was surprisingly light considering all the fat cakes and ham she eats.

"You can put me down now you know." I hadn't realized that we'd been standing in front of the car for two minutes doing nothing.

"Oh, yeah, right, sorry," I said awkwardly.

We got into the car when I realized I don't even know where to bring her, she surely doesn't want anything to do with her mom lately.

"So where do I bring you?"

"Oh, umm, can I, stay, at your house?" Her face started turning red as she looked down and played with her fingernails.

"Why?"

"Look, I can't tell you why, I just can't go home, you just need to trust me on this, please?" Wow, she said please again.

"Sure, I guess."

"Thanks." Wow, she finally learned manners, first 'please' now 'thanks', amazing.

"So is your mom gonna be there?"

"No, I told her the I got bitten by blue ants."

"Blue ants?"

"Yeah, like red ants, only they don't exist, now she's asking everyone for 'blue ant bite ointment'." I laughed slightly, but she didn't, she actually looked kind of, sad.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, just forget it."

"No, tell me." What am I saying?

"Its just that, your mom would go though so much trouble for you, even to get something that doesn't exist. My mom couldn't care less if I jumped off a cliff."

"Oh...I'm sorry, I just-

"It's fine, it was just a thought." She acted like it was no big deal but out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tear escape her's.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hii, so I always take a long time to update so I feel like I owe it to you guys to update a little early, oh and thanks sooo much for everyone who's reviewed, you guys are beyond awesome, anyways, sorry if it's getting too 'fluffy', but I mean it's not like you can argue 24/7 with someone, well with the exception of my brother but that's not the point lol, so thanks again for reviews, and hopefully this one isn't bad because it was really hard to write, but enough of me talking, enjoy!**

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Sam's POV

"Hey, are you…crying?" asked Freddie. I couldn't even talk for a minute, it was like there was something stuck in my throat and I was choking on it. I just shook my head and tried to get my hair to cover my face. The rest of the ride was silent, but there was a huge wall of tension built up between us, and it was gonna fall. I kept trying to wipe my eyes without smearing the makeup but for me that's almost impossible. Hopefully I could get myself under control before we got there.

"We're here," he said after a long fifteen minutes, and as soon as he spoke, that same feeling came back.

"_You can do this Sam, just keep a strait face." _I thought to myself. Oh crap, he has to carry me again, how am I supposed to get through that? I wish the car ride was longer. Okay, happy thoughts-ham, bacon, ribs, fat cakes, giving nerds wedgies-ugh, this isn't working!

When he started to carry me to the apartment it was the most awkward thing in the world, tons of people were staring, I had to hide my face in his shirt, which was beyond embarrassing, and when we got into the lobby, there was Lewbert yelling at us-that dude needs a girlfriend…badly.

We finally got to his place and the first thing I saw was clear plastic-everywhere, including the couch, the chairs pillows, pretty much anything with fabric.

"What's with all the plastic?" I asked after calming down a bit. I even forgot that he was still holding me.

"My mom-"

"Understood." I replied right after the word mom.

"So where do I sleep? On the couch?" I asked kind of nervous, but trying to hide it.

"Not unless you want to slip off every five seconds." Oh yeah, the plastic.

"Okay, what about your mom's room?"

"She locks it every time she leaves."

"Why?"

"She's afraid that someone's going to steal something or get their germs everywhere."

"Dude, your mom really needs to see a therapist."

"I know, but she's also afraid of therapists."

"Umm, why?"

"Well she's paranoid because if you split the word 'therapist', it's like 'the rapist'."

"Huh, I never thought of that, weird...sooo, where do I sleep?"

"Well the only place left is..."

"What?"

"Umm, my room..."

"I'm sorry, what?" I think I'm hearing things.

"Please don't throw me out the window."

"You're lucky I'm injured or I would. Are you _sure_ that's the only place left?"

"Well unless you wanna sleep in the bathtub…" Man this is not my week.

"Ugh, fine…and you can put me down you know."

"Oh, yeah, right, sorry…again," he said as he brought me to his room and put me on the bed. I think this is the only room without plastic everywhere, and it actually looked somewhat normal.

"Soooo, do you have any ham?" I actually wasn't that hungry, I just couldn't stand the awkwardness. Then I heard him laugh slightly.

"Yeah, I'll go get some."

"Thanks."

Okay, sooooo, what just happened? Did I just agree to sleep in the same bed as _him_?! I must have hit my head or something, and if I did, I hit it **really** hard, and wait, how is _he _even agreeing to this? Maybe he hit his head too. Ugh, I'm confused. I need a nap. And some ham. Oh wait, he's getting that for me! I don't want ham anymore. Maybe some ribs though.

"_Shut the f*** up about food Sam!" _Great, I'm talking to myself again.

"_**No, I like food."**_

"_Well __**food**__ isn't going to fix this!"_

"_**And how would you know?!"**_

"_Oh, I don't know, maybe because I actually have a brain!"_

"_**That explains why you got a D- on that science project."**_

"_That's science, this is life!"_

"_**What's your point?"**_

"_Think! He carries you all the way to his car and then to his room and doesn't complain, and now he's letting you sleep in his bed! Hello! He likes you!"_

"_**Yeah right, he didn't have a choice."**_

"_Yes he did! He could've just let your 'mom' pick you up and he doesn't even know the reason why you can't stay with her!"_

"_**No, he didn't have a choice because Carly would get mad at him if he didn't."**_

"_He doesn't even like Carly anymore! When she left he didn't grab her legs and beg for her to stay like he did before!"_

"_**It's vacation-not moving."**_

"_Whatever, but he likes you, and you know it!"_

"_**Okay, I'm done talking to you, so bye! No, I take that back, you don't deserve a 'bye'."**_

"Hey Sam, here's you ham."

"Thanks."

"Sooo, why can't you stay with your mom?" his face seemed to have some worry in it, like he could read my mind.

"It's a long story."

"I'm all ears," he said sitting next to me.

"Ugh, fine, but you have to _swear_ not to tell anyone, not even Carly."

"Why would I tell Carly?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe because you have the biggest crush that's ever existed on her."

"Ugh Sam, I don't like Carly anymore," he said groaning.

"What? Yes you do!"

"No I don't, that was a year ago. Haven't you noticed how I don't as much as hit on her even at the most, what's the word, obvious opportunities?"

"But you-

"I do **not** like Carly, so get that thought out of your head, now get back to what you were telling me." Crap, I thought he'd forgotten about that.

"Okay, fine, the truth is, my mom…never buys me ham anymore, she's a vegetarian now, sad."

"You're a horrible liar. I know for a fact that you wouldn't stay with me just because your mom is a vegetarian."

"What are you, a mind reader?"

"It's a little thing called _common sense_."

"Hey, it's getting late, I'm gonna sleep."

"But it's only-

"Goodnight," I said interrupting him as I turned away from him and pretended to fall asleep. Only now I really wanna know what time it is, oh well.

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**Good? Bad? Please review, just press the green-ish/white-ish/gray-ish button! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay so sorry if it's too short or anything but I also posted another chapter of another story today too so yeah, kinda busy with writing and stuff, so if you want me to keep going on this series, then please review, and thanks you everyone who has reviewed, there's a big bowl of imaginary cookies at your front door lol, so anyways, please read and review, enjoy! :)**

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That morning I woke up stiff yet comfortable, which probably makes no sense. I tried to move my arms only to find that I couldn't. Then I looked down only to find a pair of arms wrapped securely around me-Freddie's. Ugh I don't wanna have to deal with the awkwardness so why not just go back to sleep and pretend I never even noticed. Actually I kinda like everything like this. Wait a minute-this is Freddie we're talking about-I'm not enjoying this. At all. Oh who am I kidding, yes I do. Thank god he can't read my mind...or can he? Wait no he can't, he isn't Edward Cullen. Maybe I need more sleep, my brain is acting stupid. Oh crap, isn't his mom supposed to be home by now? Even she can't be as crazy as to stay up all night shopping for something that doesn't exist. Can she?

Then my thoughts were interrupted by a loud ringing sound coming from an old fashion clock in the living room.

Okay, just pretend you're asleep to avoid the awkwardness-if that's even a word. Dammit Sam shut your mind up, and your eyes.

I felt Freddie's arms release me as he got up slowly and went into the other room. Great, now I'm cold.

"Hello?" I heard him say into the phone.

"What? Why?" he said a little panicked. Who the heck is that?

"Umm, alright," he said sighing before putting the phone down.

Okay I can't pretend to sleep anymore, I'm not even tired, which is pretty surprising.

"Freddie?!" I yelled pretending I just woke up.

"Yeah? Wait, did you just call me Freddie?"

"Yes, that's your name isn't it?"

"Yeah, but, you didn't call me one of those stupid nicknames you come up with," he said with a suspicious look on his face.

"Hey, my nicknames aren't stupid, they're creative and accurate."

"Sure they are, anyways, what is it?"

"Where's your mom? Shouldn't she be back here by now?"

"Oh she, umm, sorta, went to prison," he said nervously.

"What?" I must of heard wrong.

"Well the police department called and said that after going to like the 24th drug store they didn't have the ointment and the person there kept saying it doesn't exist so she attacked them because she got so frustrated and mad."

"Oh my god, wait, did the person get hurt?"

"Well they did break their wrist."

"Who knew your mom had it in her," I said shrugging.

"Yeah, they said she'll be there for 60 days.'

"No offense, but you have a pretty psychotic mom Benson," i said laughing slightly.

"How can I possibly be offended by that?" I shrugged.

"So are you feeling any better?" he asked.

"Yeah, a lot actually."

"Good, and I bet you're starving now," he said chuckling.

"What are you? A mind reader?"

"Yeah, that's it," he said sarcastically.

"Well?"

"Well what?"

"Food? Ring a bell?" he rolled his eyes and walked into the other room.

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**How was it? Good? Good enough to be reviewed? I hope so lol, but thanks for reading it, love ya x)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the super long wait, but school has been eating me alive and it's just hard to get anything done now, but anyway, here's the next chapter, please review & enjoy! :)**

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I sat there awkwardly eating my breakfast as Freddie sat next to me; what is up with that guy lately?

"What?" I finally asked.

"Why won't you tell me what's going on? Do you not trust me or something?"

"I just can't, why can't you trust me on that?"

"Sam, why can't you just tell me the truth? It's all I'm asking from you."

"Because, if I tell you the truth, you won't be able to ever look at me the same way..."

"It can't possibly be _that_ bad," he stated.

"Oh yes it can," I muttered.

"Okay, what about if I guess what it is, then will you tell me?"

"Okay, but I doubt you'll guess it," I said giving in.

"Is it a guy?"

"A guy..?" I questioned expecting more details.

"Did a guy do this to you?"

"Nope."

"A girl?"

"Not exactly..." Well technically she's a woman, not a little girl.

"What do you mean 'not exactly', is it a robot?"

"Robot? Is your brain working today?" I asked sarcastically.

"Well if it's not a guy and not a girl then it can't be a person, unless you can't tell, which would be very disturbing," he said laughing slightly. I just shook my head laughing.

"Wow Benson, since when did you get a sense of humor?" I laughed again, and he rolled his eyes.

"And since when did you actually turn into a decent person?"

"Oh shut up," I said still laughing. Then after that he started asking more questions.

"Can you at least give me a hint?"

"Okay, here's the hint- you have to think really hard...if you're stupid."

"What? That's not a hint!"

"Okay fine, it's really quite obvious though."

"Just tell me the damn hint!"

"Okay, fine, chill, okay, umm, where do I go when I leave Carly's apartment?"

"Outside."

"Wow you're an idiot," I smirked.

"I was kidding! No need for name calling." I rolled my eyes.

"Well where then?" I asked.

"Your...house?" he said a little unsure.

"Exactly," I said like it's completely obvious; which it is.

"But that means...wait, doesn't your mom have a new boyfriend?"

"Yes, and they're engaged...sadly," I muttered the last part.

"Why, you don't like the guy?"

"Not one bit, he's a complete asshole who care's about no one but himself," I said shaking my head.

"Well why is he marrying your mom then?"

"Because he doesn't like paying his bills and he figures it will be easier to just let my mom at her house. That and he's pretty desperate."

"Wow, and your mom doesn't know?"

"Nope, she's to busy being drunk."

"By the way, what ever happened to your real dad?" he asked suddenly.

"Oh, my real dad, well he was killed by a gang when I was six, so it wasn't exactly the best childhood ever," I said trying to not show any sadness.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know-

"It's fine, you had no way of knowing...unless you're a total stalker who's known me way back then," I said trying to lighten up the conversation.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, my dad died too, he was in a car accident when I was nine."

"And how does that make me better? It's making me even more depressed," I said elbowing him playfully. He just laughed.

"Wait, so if all this happened at your house, and it wasn't a guy, then the only other person is..." he didn't finish his sentence once realization finally hit him.

"Yeah, my mom," I said as my eyes started getting watery again.

"Oh my god, and you didn't tell anyone?" he said with shock written all over his face.

"Other than you, no."

"Wow, well why don't you call the police?"

"Because then I'll have to go to a foster home, and I'll have to move away from you and Carly..." Tears were now threatening to pour out of my eyes now, and Freddie wouldn't talk because of the shock.

"Told you you'd never be able to look at me the same way," I said before running out of the apartment before he had a chance to reply.

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**You probably hate me for the cliffy now, but the more reviews I get, the faster I'll update, I mean those things are really encouraging and they just make my day. So thanks for reading! Hope you liked it, love ya x)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you guys so much for the reviews on the last chapter, I honestly didn't think I'd get that many, or any for that matter, so I decided to put up another chapter to show my appreciation, hope you like it! :)**

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I had no idea where the hell I was going, but anywhere has to be better than here. I got out of the room as fast as I could, which wasn't very fast since I'm still not fully healed. I was greeted by Lewbert yelling at me as I got down to the lobby, but I just ignored him and his hate infested body.

"Sam! Wait!" I heard him yell behind me, but it only made me go faster.

The nearest place was the Groovy Smoothy so I wen tin before he would be able to see me.

"Te-bo! Do you have a place I can hide for a while?" I asked running up to the counter.

"Well who are ya runnin' from?"

"Freddie, so can you find me a place to hide or not?!" I said getting panicked.

"Well you could always go to the supply closet, I doubt he'll check in there," he said pointing towards it.

"Good idea," I said running towards the closet. "And if anyone asks, I was never here," I yelled over my shoulder.

Te-bo's POV (a/n that's a first lol)

"Sure thing Sam!" I yelled loudly, but then I looked forward to see Freddie coming up to me. Crap.

"Were you just talking to Sam?" he asked suspiciously.

"N-no!"

"Well than why did you just yell 'sure thing Sam'?"

"Because, I, umm, was talking on the phone, with my cousin, named Sam! Yeah, that's what I was doing!" I need to learn to lie.

"But you just-"

"Wanna onion?" I asked holding up a stick of onions.

"No! Where is Sam?!" he asked getting frustrated.

"Well she's not in the supply closet if that's what your thinking!" I _really_ gotta practice lying.

"Okay..." He started turning around, but then he quickly ran for the supply closet before I could stop him.

Sam's POV

Te-bo better be good at lying, or he'll definitely get it late.

All of sudden the door burst open. Crap.

"Sam?" asked a familiar voice.

"What do you want?" I asked looking up to the person that dreaded to see the most.

"To apologize," he said looking me strait in the eye.

"For what?"

"Everything, the only reason I didn't reply was because it was just such a shock, I couldn't find the right words to say, and I just-

"Freddie, you don't have to apologize, and you don't have to pretend to care about me," I said with tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Sam, you know I care..."

"No you don't, you just feel sorry for me, and that's it. You aren't that 'prince charming' and I'm not a 'damsel in distress', so you don't have to pretend, j-just go."

"Sam, that's not true, in fact, I care about you more than anyone else right now, why else do you think I would do all those things for you?" I looked down not knowing what to say, I mean, what could I say?

"Why don't you ever trust anyone?" he finally asked.

"Because every time I have...I've been betrayed." Now there were tears that began streaming down my face, and he looked down for a minute.

"Like when?" he then asked looking me dead in the eye.

"You know when I told you about my dad being killed by a gang?"

"Yeah," he said still looking at me.

"I lied; my mom and dad were constantly fighting, but every day he told me that he wouldn't leave, and one morning I woke up to my mom crying, police crowding around in our house, and then I found out he was dead; he committed suicide."

"Oh, wow, I'm sorry, I know how that feels..." he said looking down.

"No you don't," I said shaking my head.

"My brother did the same thing."

"What? Since when do you have a brother?" I said while wearing a face of disbelief.

"I used to have an older brother, but then his friends got him doing drugs, and drinking, and all those other things, then one day he went a little over board with the drinking and decided to go for a ride on his motorcycle, but he steered himself right into a lake and drowned before anyone could save him, and ever since then my mom's been so protective of me to make sure I wouldn't end up like him," he said looking down at the floor.

"How come you never told anyone about your brother?" I asked trying to look him in the eye.

"Because my mom was just so depressed after that, and I didn't want someone to bring it up again in front of her."

"That explains so much," I said shaking my head slowly while looking down.

"I know, I'm so glad I can finally tell someone, it's been driving me insane," he said laughing lightly.

"Same here," I said also laughing a little. "Ya know Benson, I always thought you were such a dork."

"Nooo, really?" he said sarcastically.

"Yeah, it's true," I said laughing slightly. "But it's like there was a whole different person to you," I said getting a little more serious.

"Is that a good thing?" he asked a little unsure.

"Yeah, I mean who would want to be a total dork?"

"Thanks," he said sarcastically.

"No problem, Fredifer."

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**Okay so the end sorta sucks but I couldn't figure out anything better to put down, but anyway, thanks for reading, and don't forget to review, I wasn't kidding when I said they make me type faster lol x)**

**P.S. Sorry if you thought it was too fluffy!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so just to clear things up, the last chapter was not the end of the story, when I said that the ending sucked I just meant the end of the chapter, I mean that wouldn't be a very good way to end the whole story lol, but anyway, thanks for the reviews, they really help me write, but enough of my annoying blabbering, enjoy the story! :D**

Disclaimer: I unfortunately don't own iCarly.

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We sat there in silence for a while, but for some reason, it wasn't awkward, it was kind of, almost... relieving, but then the silence was interupted.

"You guys gonna get out of the closet soon? It's almost closing time," said Te-bo as he swiftly opened the door.

"Oh, yeah, what time is by the way?" I asked.

"10:23." That proves that time flys.

"Crap, I didn't even start my homework yet!" Freddie yelled out. Oh yeah, tomorrow is the end of spring break, great.

"Calm down, it's just homework, not dinner," I said trying to get him to stop freaking out.

"We missed dinner too," he pointed.

"What?! No wonder I'm so hungry! Te-bo! Smoothie! Now!" I demanded.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed," he muttered as he walked over to go make smoothie. I rolled my eyes.

"And you tell me to calm down?" Freddie asked sarcastically.

"Dude, this is dinner we're talking about, and I believe it's a little more important to not starve to death than to kill trees just for us to write pointless stuff that makes our brains hurt Fredward."

"Yeah, but that 'pointless stuff' does have a point because we need knowledge in order to do well in life," he shot back.

"And what would I need to know about greek gods that is so important? It's not like I'm gonna live there when I'm older, it's useless knowledge."

"Not with that brain you aren't," he said under his breath.

"I heard that!"

"Well it's true!"

"You better shut up Benson!" I yelled stepping closer to him until we only inches apart.

"Make me!" Suddenly, as if by some magnetic force, my lips crashed against his. He instinctively put his arms around my waist which only brought me closer, and I put my arms around his neck. Our lips moved in perfect sync and then I felt his tongue slide into my mouth as he brought me even closer, if that was possible, but then as soon as it started, it was over, because of my cellphone starting to ring.

I pulled away quickly, even though I really didn't want to, and answered my phone.

"Hello?" I asked trying to hide the frustration in my voice.

"Sam! The worst thing just happened!" said a panicking Carly at the other end of the phone.

"Well tell me what it is!"

"Well we were at one of the beaches having an awesome time, but then this huge storm came and it's not supposed to stop until after we get home!"

"Wow, that sucks."

"Yeah! And now me and Spencer are at the Seattle airport because we decided to come home before it got any worse! Ugh!"

"What?! You're here?!" I asked loudly.

"Well in Seattle, but we're only a few minutes away from home since we left yesterday and I had no time to call you-wait, did you throw another party at my house?"

"No, gosh, can't you have a little faith in me?"

"No," she said as if it were obvious.

"Glad to see my best friend trusts me," I said sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'm just that awesome, so how's Freddie? Please don't tell me you killed him," she pleaded.

"Oh, uhh, Freddie? He's, umm, good, I guess," I said hesitantly as I looked over at him as Te-bo was offering him onions.

"What'd you do this time?" she sighed.

"Nothing! Why would I do something?" I said fiddling with my hair.

"Well you sound a little suspicious..."

"Me? Suspicious? No, that's not it, I'm just, uhh, getting distracted while talking to you."

"Distracted by...?" she asked slowly.

"Uhh, just this hot guy," I tried to say without stuttering.

"Whatever you say... So where are you guys?"

"Groovy Smoothy," I blurted out.

"Great, I'll meet you there in aboooout...10 minutes."

"See ya then," I said ending the call. Wait a minute, isn't it supposed to be closed in a few minutes?

"Te-bo!" I yelled.

"Here's your smoothie," he sighed handing it to me, I completely forgot about it actually.

"No, that's not why I was calling you over!"

"So I can keep the smoothie?" he said hopeful.

"No!"

"Well then," he muttered.

"I need you to keep the place open a little longer."

"No way man..." he said shaking his head as he tried to walk away, but I turned him back around.

"I'll pay you $20?" I asked smiling.

"Deal, now where's my $20?"

"I'll pay you back later...?" I asked uncertain that he'll agree.

"Fine, but then it has to be $30."

"$25!" I yelled.

"Fine," he agreed.

"Freddie! Carly's coming!" I said a little worried while running up to him.

"What?!" He asked as his face flooded with panic.

"Yeah, in like 5 minutes now."

"Why?"

"There was a big storm and they headed back yesterday before the storm could get any worse."

"Well this great," he said sarcastically.

"I know, and what about, well, us? I mean, are we like, dating now or something?" I said a little awkwardly.

"If you want us to be," he said sweetly.

"Well duh," I said laughing a little.

"Hey guys!" yelled Carly as she skipped over to us.

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**I was actually really nervous about putting this chapter up for some reason, but how was it? review! x)**


	11. Chapter 11

**I just want to thank everyone who's reviewed, subscribed, and read my story, and I want to give a special thanks to Flutter360, musicluvr1221, kpfan72491, and last but not least MythScavenger, I really appreciate all the reviews and feedback and just wanted to say thanks, you guys are just so amazing! :)**

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"Hey Carls!" I said trying to sound happy while giving her a hug.

"So how was the vacation, other than the storm I mean," asked Freddie.

"It was pretty good, I didn't see too many hot guys there though, but whatevs, how are ya guys?" Me and Freddie exchanged a quick worried glance.

"Umm, things have been...good," I said a little uncertain.

"Yeah, great...nothing strange going on or anything," he said before I lightly elbowed him in the ribs and then quickly smiling at Carly.

"Okayy then," said Carly giving us suspicious looks.

"So, where's Spencer?" I asked changing the subject.

"Oh, he's watching Girly Cow with Socko," she said before both of us gave her a weird look. "Yeah, I dunno," she said laughing lightly.

"Anyway, what're you guys even doing here so late?" she asked changing the subject.

"Oh, well, we were just here to...wish Te-bo a happy birthday...!" I said nervously.

"It's his birthday?"

"Yeah! I mean, I thought you of all people would know that Carly," Freddie said as I cocked my head to the side and gave her an accusing look.

"Well no one ever told me, and since when do you care about anyone's birthday Sam? When it was your mom's birthday you stayed at my house until I finally made you go over there," she pointed out. Ugh, why'd she have to bring that up? My mom was drinking the whole day, and night, and well, lets just say I almost broke my arm that day.

"Sam! Are you even listening to me?" She asked loudly.

"What? Oh, sorry, I was just daydreaming," I said suddenly and Freddie gave me a worried look.

"Sam! Everytime I talk to you act like you don't even know I'm there! I swear you have the attention span of a goldfish. Next thing I know you'll be keeping secrets from me! What kind of a friend are you?! " I feel like my heart just sank fifty feet into the ground, because I know she's right, I'm such a horrible friend, she deserves so much better than me as a friend...

"Carly, I'm sorry, I know I've been a horrible friend, but things are just hard right now..." I said trailing off afraid to say anything else.

"Hard how?! All you ever care about is food! And it's not like you're starving to death!"

"My mom's getting remarried," I blurted out.

"What?" she asked as shock invaded her face.

"Please don't make me repeat it," I begged.

"What about your dad? Does he know?" I told her they just got divorced, so now she thinks he lives in Florida.

"Yeah, he claims to not care though," I lied before looking at Freddie who just stared in disbelief that I'd actually lie to Carly like this.

"Wow, I'm sorry Sam," Carly said with an apologetic look on her face.

"Eh, it's fine, let's just get out of here," I said pretending not to care too much.

We all began to walk home, but Carly led the way so she couldn't see that me and Freddie were actually holding hands as I leaned my head on his shoulder. By the time we got home I followed Carly into her apartment and immediately headed towards the fridge. I never did get to drink that smoothie. Freddie headed back into his apartment after our usual pointless arguments so we wouldn't make Carly anymore suspicious than she already is.

"We better go to sleep, school tomorrow," she said yawning.

"And I care about school since...?" I asked sarcastically.

"Sam," she sighed giving me one of those 'don't start with me' looks.

"Fine," I groaned before plopping myself on the couch as she headed towards her room.

I quickly fell asleep quickly, my dream was really long, but very forgettable, the only thing I remember is Carly waking me up for school, which I'm not sure if it's real or not, but better be safe than sorry. I got up from the couch, it was actually pretty dark, maybe it was just my dream, and that would explain why the clock says 2:23 am. Wow I'm losing it.

I head back to bed and mentally slap myself for being so stupid, and it didn't take long for the real Carly to wake me up.

"Leave me alone," I muttered into my pillow as she tried to shake me awake.

"Sam! It's the first day after break and I don't want us to be late! Now get up and get ready before I pour water on your face!" The last part made me jump off the couch.

"Okay fine, I'm awake, happy?"

"Not yet, but go get ready and I will be."

"Fine Ms. Bossypants," I muttered. What? It's morning, I can't find any good names at the moment.

I quickly did my normal morning routine which involves eating, getting dressed, fixing my hair and makeup... but mostly eating.

"Sam would you hurry up! We're gonna be late!" she yelled as I finished drinking the remains of the milk carton.

Today we decided we didn't feel like walking, so we decided to take the school bus, or as I like to call it, the zoo on wheels.

There weren't enough seats for me and Carly to sit in the same one so I ended up sitting with some other who was about a year older than me. I sat there for a few minutes texting Freddie on my cellphone until I felt the guy's hand move on my thigh.

"Do you mind?" I asked a little rudely, but he ignored me and moved closer. Who the hell does this perv think he is?

"You asked for it sweetheart," he said smirking. Oh this guy is so gonna get it.

"Well I-" My words were stopped when he suddenly forced his lips onto mine. I didn't react at first because of the shock but as soon as I realized what he was doing I started trying to push him away, but he wouldn't budge. Finally I bit his lip so hard I tasted blood.

"Bitch!" he yelled wiping his lip with his hand.

"Next time think before turning into a pervert," I said smirking as the bus got stopped and I met up with Carly at our lockers. Boy am I glad she was sitting like ten seats in front of me so she couldn't see that.

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**So this chapter was pretty packed lol, the part about Sam thinking Carly woke her up actually happened to me a couple days ago, except I woke up at like midnight, it was my mom (not Carly lol), and I actually started getting dressed and everything. Plus I thought my clock was broken at first because I was so tired lol. Okay, now I'm just getting off topic haha, so anyways, thanks for reading and please review! x)**


	12. Chapter 12

"Holy crap Sam, what the hell happened over there?" Carly asked loudly right as a teacher walked by. Nice one Carls.

"What exactly are you talking about?" I asked pretending not to know.

"Well I heard someone yell...a certain word, and when I turned around you were yelling at the guy while his lip was bleeding!"

"Trust me, you don't wanna know," I said getting some books out of my locker.

"Oh I think I do," she said grabbing my shoulder and making me face her.

"Fine, well that guy was being a complete perv and I just wanted to teach him a lesson," I said as if it were no big deal.

"And you just let him go? You should've reported him!"

"Chillax Carly, it;s not like he raped me or anything."

"Well then what did he do?!" Does this girl over react to everything?

"He just kissed me, that's it," I said trying to get her to calm down.

"Well then why'd he let you go?"

"Well I sorta...bit his lip," I said quietly.

"Sam! Who knows what else he'd do to you if you hadn't done that! Who is the guy anyway?"

"Cole," I muttered.

"Cole Saunders?! Oh my god, he's like the most popular guy in the whole school! Do you know what he could do to your reputation?!"

"Like I care, he's just a dirty bastard if you ask me."

"Yeah, but he could turn this whole thing around, or start some horrible rumor about you, who knows what horrible things that guy will do! You've gotta apologize to him!"

"Not even in your dreams! That's the last thing I'm gonna do! If anything he should be apologizing to me, and I don't really give damn to the idiots who believe anything he says," I retorted.

"But Sam, all those 'idiots' are gonna hate you! Who knows what **they'll** do! You'll be targeted by everyone!"

"What could they possibly do? They'll just end up in the hospital."

"And you'll get expelled from doing that! Sam! That's exactly what they'll want!"

"I think I can handle them, and calm down, your yelling is giving me a headache," I said rubbing my forehead.

"Well excuse me if I don't want your social life to fall apart," she muttered.

"Carly, the only part of my social life that I really care about is me, you, and Freddie staying friends."

"Fine, but be careful, I don't want my best friend in the world getting hurt." To late for that.

"Thanks, but I think I'll be fine," I said as I began walking to class, leaving Carly by her locker. Suddenly all my books fell as I ran into someone while not paying attention.

"Sorry I-ugh, not you," I said looking up to find Cole-the current pain of my existence.

"You really should've finished that apology, my lips hurt because of you."

"You should be the one apologizing to **me**, what you did was completely uncalled for."

"Do you know how many girls would've _died_ to be in your place?"

"Only the very idiotic and slutty ones," I shot back.

"Touché... anyways, I know your only playing hard to get, so we can just skip to part where we makeout." Oh he did _not_ just go there.

"I think you need to go see a doctor, cause' you really need your brain checked," I said before storming to class.

"Nice of you to finally join us Miss Pucket," said Mrs. Loray as I made my way into the classroom and sat next to Freddie.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a headache and needed an ice pack from the nurse," I lied.

"And you ice pack is where exactly?" I just had to say ice pack.

"Oh, umm, well it went away while I was heading to class, so I brought it back."

"Well next time you should return it **after** class."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said trying to end the conversation.

"Now, as I was saying...." I stopped listening right about then and began doodling on my so called 'notes'.

"Where were you?" I heard Freddie whisper.

"Just got in a little argument, no biggy."

"No surprised there," he said chuckling.

"Yeah well-"

"Is there something you two would like to share?"

"Actually yes," I said matter-o-factly.

"And what would that be?" she asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Well there's a bug on your arm." She looked at her sleeve to find a big spider slowly making it's way up her sleeve; that's when she started screaming. The whole class had a look of amusement plastered on their faces as she started what looked like a very idiotic dance. I think that's the first time someone actually had something to say. The teacher eventually got so frustrated that she just ran out of the classroom screaming down the hallway. I love that spider.

As soon as she was gone the classroom suddenly turned into a circus, if only Carly were here to see this.

"Wow," said Freddie.

"Wow? Is that all you can say?" I asked laughing.

"Okay, how about: Wow Sam! That was the most amazing thing I've ever seen anyone do! Happy?" he said chuckling.

"Yup, thanks dork."

"Seriously? Your still calling me 'dork'?"

"Of course I am, I thought you of all people would know that," I said making a fake gasp and putting my hand over my mouth. He rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Whatever, what about Carly?"

"What about Carly?"I asked unsure what he was talking about.

"Should we tell her?"

"Tell her what?" I said making a completely clueless face even though I knew what he was talking about.

"Don't play dumb, I know you know what I'm talking about," he accused.

"Well things are already dramatic enough, I think we should keep it on the DL for now."

"Good point, so you wanna go out for dinner tonight?" he suddenly asked.

"Yeah! Which restaurant?" I asked.

"It's a surprise," he teased.

"Ugh, you know I hate surprises," I groaned.

"I have a feeling you'll like this one..." he said smiling.

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**Wow I'm starting to really get into this story haha, hope you like this chapter, and thanks for all the amazing reviews, they're just so inspiring! x)**


	13. Chapter 13

During the whole car ride to the restaurant, all I could think about was Cole, his mud brown hair, in a messy yet good looking style, his eccentric green eyes, his perfect features, his horrible attitude. It was like part of me actually liked him, but part of me wanted to kick him where it hurts, but I have to ignore both parts, because Freddie is the one I love, not that dirty bastard.

"So which restaurant are we going to?" I finally asked.

"I told you, it's a surprise," he chuckled.

"But that's unfair," I pouted.

"How is it unfair? You've been keeping things from me for years."

"Yeah, but that's different, I couldn't tell you those things."

"Well maybe I can't tell you this. Besides, we're already here," he said as we pulled into the parking lot. My mouth fell open as I looked over to see one of the fanciest restaurants to ever meet the face of the earth, just looking at the outside made you feel rich.

"So what do ya think?" he asked while I stared at it.

"Freddie, this is one of the most expensive restaurants ever, how can you possibly afford it?"

"Well my aunt owns it."

"The whole chain?" I asked in astonishment.

"Yup," he said with an amused look on his face from my reaction.

"Well you'll definitely inherit a lot," I muttered as we got out of the car.

"Don't worry, I'll be sure to get you a life supply of ham," he chuckled.

"Aww, you're so sweet," I said sarcastically.

"I know," he teased before I elbowed him lightly.

The second we stepped in, my mouth once again hung open, it was like restaurant heaven. Candles covered the room perfectly, the walls were painted a beautiful shade of blue, a shiny black piano was being played in the corner of the room, a glistening chandelier hung from the ceiling, which was incredibly high up, and the aroma of delicious food filled the air.

"Wow." That was all I could say.

"I'll take that you like it?"

"Uh-huh," I said trying to snap out of the daze. Then I felt him take my hand and carefully bring me over to one of the tables as I still tried to take in my surroundings. I picked up one of the menus on the table and scanned it through.

"Freddie?"

"Yeah?" he asked.

"How am I supposed to choose what I want if I can't even pronounce half of these things?"

"Well they're all delicious, so it doesn't really matter," he laughed slightly.

"Yeah, stick up for your aunt," I muttered.

"How may I help you?" asked the blonde waitress who suddenly appeared at our table.

Freddie quickly ordered something that I couldn't really comprehend, and then the waitress looked at me waiting for an answer.

"Umm, what he said," I finally said.

"Okay, you'll get your meals shortly!" she said cheerfully before walking away.

"Please tell me I didn't just order some kind of insect?"

"Nope, but you might've if you ordered something else," he laughed.

"I thought you said it was all delicious," I accused.

"Oh don't worry, it is, even the things you'd find disgusting normally, you can try one of them if you want," he teased.

"I think I'll just take your word for it... Anyway, what did we order?"

"Just this really fancy soup, with a side of lobster and something else I forgot about."

"Great," I muttered at the last part, I mean, what if they were snails or something?

"I'll be right back, I have to use the girl's room," I said getting up and walking towards the bathroom and once again becoming mesmerized by the scent of food, for a minute I just had to close my eyes and take it all in, but then I crashed into something and fell backwards.

"Okay, we really gotta stop doing that," said a familiar voice which I figured out belonged to Cole when I looked up.

"What are you even doing here?" I asked getting up and fixing my dress. Yes, I actually wore a dress.

"I'm here for a family dinner because my mom just returned to Seattle after four months, what are **you** doing here?" Crap, what do I say?

"None of your business," I said quickly.

"Fine, don't tell me, it probably just means you have something to hide." Is everyone capable of reading my mind?

"No, I just don't think you need to know about my personal life, or any part of my life for that matter," I shot back at him.

"Why are you always so stubborn? You gotta loosen up a bit."

"Me? Loosen up? You've gotta be kidding me." This guy has officially lost his mind.

"Yeah, it's like you've got this big secret that you won't let anyone in on." Okay, maybe he hasn't _completel_y lost his mind.

"Look, you don't need to know anything about me," I said throwing him a glare.

"Fine, don't tell me about whatever it is your hiding, just keep it all bottled up inside," he said in an intimidating voice.

"You know you don't scare me, and why are you all of a sudden talking to me so much?"

"You want the truth?"

"Yeah," I said like it was obvious.

"Fine, well I like you, your the only girl who doesn't immediately fall to her knees for me." Well I didn't see that coming.

"Yeah, well I _don't _like you, because I know you're just a player, telling someone you love them, then dumping or even cheating on them once they get too 'boring'. How many girls have you dated this week? Let me guess, one for every day?" Well that, and I'm dating Freddie.

"Actually, I haven't even laid eyes on another girl ever since I met you, and it's impossible for me to get bored with you, you're smart, funny, down to earth..." he trailed off, and I was speechless.

"I have to go," I said as a wave of shock came over me, I can't believe I might actually be falling for him.

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**Okay, so this story probably seems to be slipping away from seddie right now because of that other guy, but don't worry, it's still gonna be seddie no matter what, and thanks for reading and leaving reviews, if it hadn't been for you guys, I probably would've stopped writing right after the first chapter, so thanks, and please keep reviewing, they inspire me x)**


	14. Chapter 14

I quickly walked away and went back to Freddie at our table where the food already came to, but suddenly I didn't feel so hungry, more like my stomach was tied in a huge not from all the guilt. Why couldn't I have just walked to school that day?

"Aren't you gonna eat?" Freddie finally asked after I've been stirring my soup for about five minutes.

"Umm, yeah," I said as I started taking tiny spoonfuls of soup.

"Sam, you look kinda sick, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, never been better..." I wasn't even convincing myself of that.

"Sam, if you don't feel good it's okay to go home," he said with his voice filled with concern, which only made the guilt worse. How can I possibly like Cole even a little? It doesn't make any sense...

"Really, I'm fine, I'm just not that hungry, that's all..." Ugh, I feel so horrible, like someone just punched a giant hole through my chest.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," I said with a weak smile.

"Well just tell me if you wanna go home," he said kindly before leaning over and kissing my forehead and I forced out a smile.

The rest of the dinner went by slowly, quietly, and for me, painfully. I mean, Freddie has no idea that I ever even talked to the guy, and now I have feelings for him? I hate myself so much right now... Now I'm at Carly's place after he dropped me off and I didn't even bother waking up Carly, I just laid down on the couch trying not to let my emotions get the best of me. I didn't even sleep, I stared at whatever my eyes happened to look at, and then finally Carly got up and came to wake me up, but my eyes were still wide open.

"Sam?" she asked a little confused.

"Yeah?" I asked plainly.

"Are you okay, you seem kinda...well, not Sam."

"I'm fine, just...tired."

"Well if you're tired then why weren't you asleep?"

"I don't know, I'm just not feeling that well today..."

"Well are you sick?"

"Maybe, I don't know." Wow I sound stupid.

"How do you not know if you're sick?"

"Well not really sick, just kinda...sad I guess."

"Why?" she said sitting next to me. "Wait, is it because of Cole?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Well I guess it is true.

"Aw Sam, don't let that jerk get you down, he's not worth it!"

"Yeah, but I think I might..."

"Might what?"

"Like him," I said in almost a whisper.

"You what? How?!" she said shocked.

"I don't know, he kept talking to me and being all sweet, and then he just got to me..."

"Well if you like him, then what's the problem?"

"I think I might like another guy too..."

"You like another guy?! Who?!" she asked loudly.

"I can't really tell you," I said awkwardly.

"Why not? Wait-you don't like my brother do you?" she said quickly.

"Ew, no, that's just wrong," I said with disgust.

"Well why can't you tell me then?"

"It's complicated, but can you please help me?" I pleaded.

"I guess, I mean that's what best friends are for right?"

"Thanks Carls," I said before giving her a brief hug.

"No problem," she said kindly.

At School

I was in biology class and we were doing a dissection of rat, gross right? Poor rats, whatever happened to the frogs? Did they already dissect all of them or something? Well this will be rather unpleasant.

"Now I will announce you partners for dissection, so listen closely because I will only say this once: Gibby and Jessica, Wendy and Regina, Ella and Megan, Mike and Ben, Tanner and Shane, Sam and Valerie..." The rest I didn't pay attention to, I can't believe I got paired up with Valerie! Does this teacher hate me?

"Hello Puckett," she said walking over to the desk and slamming her science book on it. I just rolled my eyes at her and leaned back in my chair.

"Look, I'm not enjoying this anymore than you are, so why don't you just drop that little tough act of yours and dissect this disgusting thing."

"You're calling the rat disgusting? Have you ever even seen a mirror?"

"You're lucky I actually have some class unlike you or you would regret every word you ever said to me."

"Pfft, like I'm afraid of a little barbie doll," I said rolling my eyes again.

"I wouldn't be talking if I were you blondie," she retorted. Just then I heard something drop on the table, it was the rat.

"Oh gross," said Valerie covering her eyes._ And the dissection hasn't even started yet._

"Wimp," I said under my breath.

"I'm right here you know," she said taking her hand off her eyes.

"Yeah, I do know, sadly." I picked up one of the tools and swiftly sliced open whatever I saw on the diagram the teacher handed out while Valerie watched with disgust written all over her face.

"You could help a little if you're done being such girly girl?"

"Just because I care about how I look doesn't make me a girly girl, and I don't wanna go to the nurse because of all the blood." Thanks for reminding me, I was trying to ignore the blood, but now I'm starting to feel sick. I mean I've just had it with blood lately, I'm surprised I didn't faint yet.

"Yeah, well you're the one who's gonna get a bad grade," I said pushing the bloody rat over to her side of the table.

"Fine, and you do know that pretty much everyone knows about you and Cole," she said randomly.

"What the hell are you talking about now?"

"Oh don't play dumb, everyone knows about you and Cole's little make-out session on the bus," she said not making any eye contact.

"We weren't making out," I said sternly.

"Well that's not what everyone thinks, it's gone practically around the whole school now." Oh god-Freddie.

"Well whoever believes that rumor is a complete idiot."

"Yeah, well pretty much the whole school believes it," she said before passing the rat back to me. I was suddenly sick to my stomach again from all the blood and the fear of Freddie finding out. A million thoughts ran through my head as I thought of all the possible things he could say to me, and none of them good.

"Sam? Are you sick or something?" Valerie asked, but I didn't respond. My vision started getting blurry before once again, everything became black.

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**So I hope you like it, please review, it's for the children! 0:)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU! The reviews I got on the last chapter were amazing, you guys are just so amazingly awesome, I wouldn't even be writing if it weren't for you guys, soooo, I wanna thank kpfan72491, musicluvr1221, The Laughter1234, Sam and Freddie are SEDDIE, MythScavenger, Flutter360, LikeOmgSeddie, and last, but most definitely not least, xNomii. I just can't thank you guys enough, I think I'm gonna start giving shoutouts in every chapter now, so again, thanks so much! **

**P.S. Sorry if I sound like I'm really spazzed out at the moment lol, I'm just extremely hyper xD**

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I was starting to wake up but I didn't want to open my eyes, I just pretended to sleep while listening to the steady beeping of the machine next to the hospital bed-wait, why the heck am I in the hospital? All I did was faint.

I opened my eyes and tried to sit up, I felt okay, so why am I here? I checked to see if I had any broken bones, or cuts, or anything of the sort, but I didn't find anything. Then I tried to put my hair behind my ear but felt some kind of cloth there. Great, I must have hit my head or something.

"Hello?" I said pretending to just wake up as a doctor came in, but a different one than last time.

"Good morning Miss Puckett," said the tall, pale doctor; maybe he's a vampire.

"What'd I do this time?" I asked automatically.

"Well you fainted and hit your head on one of the corners of the table." Surprise, surprise.

"Great, so when can I get out of here?" I was truly sick of the hospital now, it's so plain and boring, plus it brings back so many horrible memories.

"Actually whenever you want now, it wasn't that big an injury, you just needed a few stitches and now you're all set."

"Great, well bye then," I said getting up from the bed and started to leave. Thank god I'm still wearing my regular clothes.

I walked out of the room after he waved goodbye and began walking down the long hallways. I could hear a crying as I passed many of the rooms, I felt truly sorry for them even if I'd never met any of them. It's hard dealing with these things, I should know.

I got down to the lobby and saw a little girl standing there crying with no parents or anyone around her, like she was invisible. I thought about going up to her, she was just like me: confused. I stared at her for a minute and almost went up to her but then another person came up and guided her another way as she sobbed.

"Poor kid," I blurted out without thinking and received a few glances from other people and then walked out only to be greeted by cold rain. Stupid Seattle.

I let out a loud groan and started running across the street and tried to get home. I took out my cellphone to quickly check what time it is: 1:43 pm. Well that was a rather quick visit to the hospital considering school is still going on, but I'm not gonna go back, by the time I get there it will already be over.

I quickly ran through the doors of the Bushwell Plaza without giving Lewbert any time to yell at me. I sat in the elevator since no one else was there and just rested waiting to get to the right floor before entering the Shay's apartment and throwing my hoodie over my head so Spencer wouldn't see the bandages.

"Hey Spencer," I said heading towards the fridge.

"Hey Sam, umm, why are you here?"

"Decided to skip class," I lied smoothly as I held a slice of ham firmly between my teeth while pouring myself a glass of milk.

"Ah," he said with a look of realization on his face.

"So watcha doing?" I asked eyeing the strange thing he was making.

"Making a castle out of just doughnuts!" he said excitedly.

"Umm, good luck with that," I said making it almost sound like a question.

"Thanks," he said brushing his hair to the side.

"No problem..." I said awkwardly.

I watched tv for a while, but keeping my eyes on the clock while waiting for Carly to come home. I wonder if she heard about what happened, I hope not, but with my luck, I better be prepared.

"Hey Spence, hey Sam-wait, Sam?" asked a cheerful Carly.

"Heyy Carls," I said with an innocent smile.

"What are you doing here so early?"

"Skipped class," I said laying on the couch.

"No surprise there," I heard her mutter.

"So where's Freddie?" I asked, normally he'd already be here.

"I don't know, he should be here by now, why?" she said glancing at the clock. I just shrugged.

"Hey Sam, this is probably gonna sound random, but do you like Freddie?"

"What do you mean 'like Freddie'?"

"Well you said you liked someone else, and that it was complicated, and I kept thinking about it, and the idea of you liking Freddie just kept running through my head. So do you?" I was debating on whether to tell her or not, it would get a lot of my chest, but then I'd have to explain it to Freddie without mentioning Cole.

"Well, umm, sorta, kinda, yeah," I sighed afraid of what she'd say. Suddenly she made a loud squeal and ran up hugging me so much I couldn't breathe.

"Carly?"

"Yeah?" she said not letting go.

"Need. Air." I said before she finally let go.

"Sorry, but I mean, finally!" she yelled smiling.

"Finally what?"

"Finally you admit it! Do you know how long I've been wanting you to say that?!"

"Umm, no," I said plainly.

"Well a freaking long time girl!" she yelled putting on some kind of accent. "You have to ask him out!" she added.

"Well, we sorta are already dating," I said nervously before turning around as she squealed again.

"Oh my god! Yes! But wait, why didn't you tell me before?"

"Truthfully I was afraid of what you'd think," I said not making eye contact.

"Really? I thought that you'd have a little more faith in me than that," she said as the happiness dissolved from her face.

"I do, but so much was going on, the last thing I wanted was for me to lose my best friend."

"Okay, but no more secrets," she said as she looked me dead in the eye.

"Fine, no more secrets," I said calmly.

"Promise?"she said giving me a serious look.

"Promise," I sighed, but it was already broken.

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**Okay so sorry if you thought this chapter was a little boring, but I promise the next chapter will include Freddie, and the guy you probably all hate now: Cole. lol I feel so evil for some reason right now *does evil laugh*. lol sorry, still a little hyper, review! x)**


	16. Chapter 16

**So thank you guys so much for the reviews, I'm really glad I have people who are reading through the whole thing, so I wanna thank: xNomii, musicluvr1221, The Laugher1234, MythScavenger, LikeOmgSeddie, and last but not least televisionluver, all for the inspiring reviews that just make my day. Also this chapter was strangely hard to write so it actually took a few days since I didn't want to rush and turn it into a piece of crap lol, so I hope you guys like it, enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I wish I could own iCarly, but sadly I don't.**

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I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I'm lying to everyone I know and there's no way out.

"Sam? How about you answer this question," said Ms. Briggs as the whole class stared at me for a response.

"No thanks," I said smoothly. It's not like I have a reputation for paying attention in class.

"Okay, fine, don't answer the question, but you have detention after school," she said with a slight smirk.

"Whatever," I muttered as I leaned back in my chair and she continued the lesson.

_'Good luck in detention, I heard Mr. Howard is in charge of it. -J' _said a note passed from the desk next to me. I looked over to see Jonah smirking at me. Ms. Briggs had never changed the seating arrangements since the beginning of the year, and I just so happened to sit next to Jonah. You'd think I would hate it, but we actually became friends. He apologized, I forgave him, simple as that.

_'Whatever, it's not like I have anything better to do. -S' _I wrote back.

_'So you'd rather be in detention than with your bf? -J'_

_'What bf? -S' _I wasn't sure who he thought I was dating but I don't wanna say something stupid.

_'Cole? Ring a bell? -J'_

_'Cole is **not** my bf -S' _Ugh, now it's officially a rumor.

_'Whatever you say... -J' _I rolled my eyes at him, I wasn't in the mood to deal with this kind of crap.

The rest of class was torture, it was the last period before lunch and I had to deal with this so called 'teacher' slowly killing my brain cells. I watched the clock waiting for the last minute to go by, and it was going by incredibly slow, but a surge of relief came when I was finally free, thanks to the bell.

"Hola," I said to Carly as I sat down and put my lunch tray on the table.

"Hey," she said taking a bite of her pizza, which actually looked somewhat edible.

"So where's Freddie?" I asked as I noticed he wasn't in his usual seat.

"I'm not sure-oh wait, there he is," she said pointing at the tech geek. He didn't seem happy, but he was walking over to our table.

"Hey Carly, Sam," he said my name coldly-oh god, please tell me he didn't hear that rumor.

"I'll be right back," said Carly noticing the awkwardness between us.

"Freddie, I swear whatever you heard isn't true," I said automatically.

"So you guys didn't kiss?"

"No! Well, not willingly, he forced me into it on the bus," I said as my eyes started getting slightly watery.

"Well are you sure you don't like him? Everyone keeps telling me you guys are going out," he asked with hurt in his eyes. How did I do this to myself? I just keep drowning in all these lies, it's killing me.

"Of course I don't like him," I said trying to keep a steady voice.

He didn't reply, he just looked down and I began slowly trying to eat, but I pretty much lost my appetite from the guilt.

"Hey guys, I'm back," Carly said sitting down. I didn't say anything, I just stirred my milk with the straw and took a tiny sip of it.

"So are you guys still together?" she asked before her eyes bulged out when she realized what she just said. So did Freddie's.

"Oh yeah, I sorta told Carly we were going out," I said fiddling with my fork as he nodded understanding.

"Oh wow this is awkward," Carly finally said.

"No kidding," he muttered.

The rest of lunch was pretty awkward, and there was no doubt that Freddie didn't believe me. I had study hall next, although I never really studied, just skipped. Today I decided to head out to the mall, not to go shopping, but to just chill out for a while.

I walked out side and surprisingly wasn't greeted by rain, but snow. Pure, white, snow. It began to cling to my hair as a gust of wind blew in my face causing my eyes to get slightly watery. I wish I'd brought a jacket with me, it's freezing and all I have is this thin hoodie.

The mall wasn't very crowded since most of the people were either at school or work, but there were a few others who skipped as well. The only thing I ever enjoyed here was going outside behind the mall and playing some one player basketball; it wasn't much of a game, but it kept me busy. The only problem was getting the ball, which I had to steal from some thing at the arcade with a pile a basketballs where you had to pay to shoot through a few hoops and the get some stuffed animal if you made at least three of the five shots.

I waited for the person at the stand to start talking to another costumer and then grabbed a ball and ran out of sight and to the back of the mall where the exit was and ran outside.

There was only one hoop there on the black pavement and it was pretty rusty from all the crazy weather it's had to suffer through, but I could care less what it looked like.

I started making a few shots, one of which I missed because of a snowflake flying into my eye. The ball started rolling away of the pavement and I watched as it was picked up by another pair of hands: Cole.

"What're you doing here?" I said not sounding as rude as I intended.

"Same as you, I ditched study hall and decided to go shoot some hoops out here," he said spinning the ball around in his hands.

"At the mall? You don't even have a ball," I accused.

"I think I do have a ball," he said pointing at the ball I had dropped.

"You know that's not what I meant."

"Well if you must know everything, I about to steal one from that ridiculously overpriced game there but then I saw you running out the exit with one and decided, why not just use yours?" he said as his eyes met mine.

"And what makes you so sure that I'll let you use mine?" I said now raising my eyebrow.

"Maybe because you like me," he said stepping closer before I took a step back.

"I-I don't like you," I stuttered as I my back met the building.

"Then why are you stuttering?" he asked stepping even closer.

"Maybe because your closeness is making me uncomfortable," I said trying my best to keep a steady voice.

"Are you sure that's why?" he said without moving this time.

"Positive," I said as my hands gripped the wall as if I were about to fall as his lips were only centimeters from mine.

"Fine, if that's how you feel," he said as he took a step back and began to walk away before glancing at me once again over his shoulder. I let out a huge sigh when I realized I hadn't been breathing that whole time. The sad thing is I almost wanted him to close the gap between our lips, but he just left me hanging. But I can't think like that, even if I might like him, I still love Freddie beyond anyone else, and he can't change that. I hope.

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**I wonder if there's anyone who actually likes Cole haha, but anyways, thanks for reading and please review, and again I just want to assure you guys that this story is still gonna be seddie, it would be cruel if I made it anything else lol x)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Ugh I can't thank you guys enough! I wish I could give you each a million dollars, but all I have are imaginary cookies :/ But thank you guys sooo much for reading and reviewing, it means so much (okay I probably sound like I have no life right now lol) but thank you so much for reviewing: The Laugher1234, trainwreck17, xNomii, Flutter360, shtterania, and cccha8 x)**

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Why do all the horrible things always happen to me? Does the world hate me or something? Why can't I be like Carly? Her life is so much easier compared to mine, she's got the perfect brother to look after her, is friends with practically everyone, gets perfect grades, I can't find any flaws in her life, but with me, I can't even keep count...

I stood against the cold wall still holding the basketball in my hands and ran my fingers over it's surface as the cold had begun to take over my body. My hair is actually soaking wet now from all the snow, but who cares anymore? I slid down to the ground and just stayed like that watching the snow go by. I took cellphone out of my pocket to check the time: 12:34. Study hall was over about an hour ago, but what does that matter.

This felt like a movie, this would be the part where the girl would start crying, but I guess I'm just not that girl, the tears just wouldn't come.

"Excuse me young lady but aren't you supposed to be in school at this hour?" I heard a voice say and I looked up to see a police officer staring at me.

"It was an early release today," I lied.

"Well you still shouldn't be out here, especially in this kind of weather."

"Yeah, sorry, my bad. I guess I'll just go," I said standing up.

"Okay, but be safe," he said as I walked off.

My body feels like a human popsicle, in antarctica, during a snowstorm, in an avalanche. Pleasant right?

I walked back home-yes home. My mom was out on a date, and by date, I mean club. The first thing I noticed when I stepped in was the disgusting odor of smoke that made me want to gag. _Ever heard of Febreeze? _

I lazily walked in my room where I had planned to collapse on my bed, but my bed was gone. Instead there was a couch, tv, and a minifridge in it's place. Apparently my mom thinks I've moved out.

I walked over to the fridge only to find it fully stocked with beer bottles. Again, pleasant.

"Way to stay sane mom," I muttered as I slammed it shut.

"Sam?" I heard a familiar voice say. I turned around only to see Melanie giving me a worried look.

"Melanie? What're you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at that fancy boarding school of yours?"

"Yeah, but we're still on vacation."

"Still? That's not fair!"

"Well we work extra hard there so they're giving us an extended vacation."

"That's still not fair, but what're you doing, well, here?" I asked again.

"Just checking up on mom, how is she?"

"Pfft, she's beyond insane, I'm surprised she's not in prison again," I said rolling my eyes.

Well what'd she do this time?"

"Let's see, she got a disgusting boyfriend, lives in a smoke filled house, oh yeah, and look at this," I said opening the beer filled fridge.

"Holy s-I mean, wow," she said with wide eyes.

"Oh come on, don't act so surprised, it's mom we're talking about," I said shrugging at the last part.

"Yeah, but still, I'm getting worried about her, maybe we should just call the police so she won't have anymore health problems," she suggested.

"No! Then I'll have to go to some foster home!" I yelled louder than necessary.

"You don't have to! You can go to the boarding school with me!"

"Ew no! That's even worse! With all you preppy barbie's? No thank you."

"Suit yourself, but good luck with mom," she said nonchalantly as she skipped out the door. Great sister I have there. Note my sarcasm.

I watched tv on the couch for a while until I heard a car pull up in the driveway. I quickly turned the tv off and ran out the back door as I heard the car door slam.

I ran towards the plaza as fast as if could as if someone were chasing me. Surely Carly is home by now. I hope.

I stopped at their door and caught my breath. I turned the knob but it wouldn't open, then I saw a note on the door.

_Sam, me and Spencer are over at grand dad's for a few days to celebrate his b-day, so stay out of trouble while I'm gone, or no more ham. -Carly_

Thanks a lot Carly, leave me without a warning. Oh well, I guess I can go over to Freddie's, I mean he is my boyfriend after all.

"Freddie!" I yelled knocking on his door. As soon as he opened the door I hugged him and slightly staggered back in surprise but then hugged back. I'm not exactly sure why I did that, but man was I glad I did.

"Umm, Sam?"

"Yeah?" I mumbled into his shirt.

"Is there something wrong...?" he asked a little awkwardly.

"What? No, I just missed you," I lied.

"But you just saw me at lunch," he pointed out as I kept hugging him.

"What? Now I can't hug my boyfriend?" I said sarcastically and he smiled slightly.

The whole time I was with Freddie, I secretly wondered what it would be like if he were Cole, would I actually like it? Well, as much as it pains me to even think about this, but I guess the only way to figure out if I like him, is to kiss him.

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**I bet you guys hate the end of this chapter, I feel so evil lol, well, other than the ending, hopefully you guys enjoyed it, and remember to review! :D**


	18. Chapter 18

**Okay so sorry I took forever to update, but I can explain, sort of. Well school's been killing me, I just found out about a dad I never even knew I had, I also found out that I could've had an older sister/brother but apparently they died before birth, and that's not even mentioning my gigantic writer's block. So I apologize for that, but I tried my best to get this chapter written, although it's a little short, but I hope you guys like it anyway, and now for shout-outs to the always amazing reviewers: The Laugher1234, musicluvr1221, televisionluver, xNomii, ohmygoshseddiex3, Jack Storm, Katie, and last but of course not least, Briyze. Thank you guys so much, I wouldn't be writing if it weren't for you guys. Also feel free to ask if you want me to read one of your stories (as long as it's seddie lol), I don't bite...most of the time anyway ;)**

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Do you ever wish that you could just stop time? Or just get off of the earth and watch what life would be like if you didn't exist? Well I don't know about you, but those seem like pretty good wishes to me right now.

"Here ya go," Carly said handing me a glass of lemonade as she plopped down on the couch next to me.

"Thanks," I mumbled taking the glass from her hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked concerned.

"I'm pretty sure you can guess what's wrong," I said with an annoyed voice.

"Okay, well who do you like more?" she said immediately knowing what problem I was talking about.

"I guess Freddie, but I just can't get rid of that feeling for Cole," I said bending my head as far back on the couch as it could go.

"Well why don't you just go on a date with Cole, then you can see if you really like him, or if it's just one of those temporary little crushes that really mean nothing," she suggested.

"Yeah, and cheat on Freddie? Yeah right..."

"Well what's your plan?"

"Umm, well, I sorta, kinda, think that I have to kiss him," I said quickly.

"Why?" she asked a little stunned.

"Well you know when you like just have to do something or else it'll haunt you for the rest of your life because you never know what'll really feel like? Well this is one of those times," I said before taking another sip of my lemonade.

"Oh, well what're you gonna do if you actually like it?"

"I have no idea, that's why I need your advice!" I yelled with frustration.

"Alright, just calm down," she said meeting my high voice level as I sighed and leaned back again.

"Fine, I'm calm. Now help me!"

"Okay, well after you kiss him, just figure out who you like more and be done with it."

"You seriously think it's that easy?" I asked her with disbelief.

"Yeah well it's all I got," I shrugged.

"Ugh fine, but it's not like I can just go up to Cole and say 'Can I kiss you so I can see if I like you more than this other guy?'," I pointed out.

"Well then just find a time when you two are alone and it'll come naturally."

"Ugh, if only your little mind would realize things don't always work out as you want them to," I said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Whatever Sam, just go do something, sitting here insulting my brain isn't going to help you ya know."

"Fine, but you better have a big plate of bacon for when I get back," I said sternly before walking out the door.

I wasn't going anywhere in particularly, usually Cole tends to end up where I am, so I guess I'll just go to the woods. Okay, that's probably not a place people would find you, or a place you'd go, but who cares, I need some time by myself.

I began walking down the sidewalk trying to find any part of town that didn't have some sort of building on it, but I ended up just getting tired and heading to Subway.

I ordered my self a foot long and grabbed a soda and looked down at my food as I walked over to the table, this is usually when I'd bump into 'you know who' but apparently not this time.

My food was only half finished when I heard a familiar voice that made me jump a little.

"Yo," said 'you know who' as he sat down across from me. Well I guess my theory about him showing up everywhere is true, but at least we stopped bumping into each other.

"Okay, are you like stalking me or something? You always show up everywhere," I blurted out and he gave a slight chuckle.

"What, you don't believe in fate now either?" he asked sarcastically.

"How can you be sure it's fate?" I said before taking another sip of my coke.

"How can you be sure it isn't?" he said turning the question around and I rolled my eyes.

"You are such an ass," I said laughing a tiny bit.

"At least I'm a hot ass," he said with a smirk as I glared at him, but said nothing.

"Can't deny it can ya?" he said with his smirk getting bigger as my glare did the same.

I stayed quiet then did something neither of us expected-I kissed him.

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**SUPER IMPORTANT: I'm thinking about having the next chapter be the last, I'll probably make it a little longer than usual and it will definitely end with seddie, but I don't have to end it, that's where you guys come, if you guys want I could add another twist and continue the story, and it would be great if I could get some ideas, but it's up to you guys if you want me to keep going, so tell me what I should do and please review! haha that rhymes x)**


	19. Chapter 19

**So most of you said that I should keep it going, so I guess that's what I'm gonna do, for now anyways. It was kinda funny though, when I read some of the reviews, some of you had complete opposite opinions about some ideas, and speaking of reviews, thanks so much to: xNomii, The Laugher1234, MythScavenger, CaptainAwesome13, StylishCandy, Rimacci Kuran, XcrozzybabezX, and ohmygoshseddiex3-you guys are beyond amazing :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own iCarly, blah, blah, blah :P**

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_"Freddie, I swear it isn't what you think!" I yelled nearly in tears._

_"Save it Sam, it's obvious you've found someone much better than me," he said with his hurt filled eyes staring strait into mine._

_The tears began flowing from my face as if someone someone left some kind of faucet running. I wanted to say something, but it was like something was lodged in my throat that prevented my voice from speaking._

_He stood there for another minute as if waiting for me to say something, but no matter how hard I tried to, I couldn't, and then he began to walk away, giving me one last hurtful glance that made my heart drop ten feet into the ground._

_Normally this would be the part where I chased after him, beginning him for forgiveness, but my feet wouldn't move, like they were nailed to the floor and both my hands were tied behind my back._

My eyes flew open but I refused to let my body move, I just stared at the ceiling like there was nothing wrong with the world, but then a flood of thoughts invaded my mind.

Why was it so impossible for my life to be perfect for even a minute? Carly's life is practically always perfect, I mean she runs into a few problems like when Nevel starts acting like an idiot or something of that sort, but is her life ever really _that_ bad? Whenever something happens, it's like she always has a solution the next day. She always gets her way.

And Freddie, he's always been complaining about his mom embarrassing him on the daily basis, but at least she actually _cares. _

And Cole, the guy every girl should fall to their knees for, the guy they'd kill to even get him to talk to them, the guy I kissed yesterday.

I didn't know why, but the whole time I was kissing him, all I could think about was Freddie, I wasn't even paying attention to the kiss which turned into a problem because I still don't know whether I actually liked it or not. I mean usually when you kiss someone all you can think about is that person, but it was like my mind went into another world. Ugh, this is confusing.

And that dream, it felt so _real. _Is that what it was going to feel like if I lost Freddie? Like I would never be able to get him back? Never even be able to talk to him?

I sat up on the Shay's couch and looked at the digital clock across the room that read 3:12 in bright red numbers.

I should probably be super tired right now, but for some strange reason I felt like I'd just drank a whole two liter bottle of coffee. I guess there's no point in going back to sleep. I wonder what places stay open this late. The only thing I can come up with is the park, so apparently that's wear I'm going.

I was still in my normal clothes since I'd fallen asleep while watching Girly Cow with Carly, so wearing something decent wasn't really a problem. Plus, who's gonna see me this late at night?

I slipped out of the apartment, careful not to make too much noise so I wouldn't wake anyone up.

I got down to the lobby, and was pleasantly surprised that Lubert wasn't there.

As I walked out the door I was greeted by a cool breeze, but it wasn't cold or rainy out which was a nice change for once.

The whole time I'd been walking down the sidewalk I hadn't had a single car pass which was nice, but at the same time gave me that creepy feeling that I was all alone in the world.

When I arrived at the park it seemed so quiet, and not the good kind of quiet. The kind of quiet where you feel like all the sound has left the world, and the kind of quiet where you tend to think of those horror movies with those killers that tend to kill you as soon as you turn around.

"Sam?" I nearly screamed at the sudden break of silence, who the hell would be at a park this late at night? I looked over to see Freddie standing there staring at me.

"Freddie? What're you doing here?" What was he doing here at nearly 3:30 am?

"I couldn't really sleep, and this seems like the only place that's actually open this late at night, or morning, whatever you wanna call it. What about you?" he asked a little concerned.

"Same as you," I said before we just stood there staring at each other for a minute. Then, I'm not sure why, but out of nowhere I hugged him and then started crying my eyes out.

He immediately hugged back, but I could just picture his confused face as I soaked his shirt in tears.

"I'm sorry..." I said quietly without letting him go.

"For what?" he asked meeting my voice level.

"Everything..." I said even softer as I gripped his shirt even tighter. "And for ruining your shirt," I added.

"Well for whatever you did, you're forgiven, and don't worry about my shirt, it's no where near as important as you are," he said as I continued to hug him. How can he be this nice after I've been such a bitch to everyone?

"Freddie?" I asked but my voice was a little muffled since I was practically talking into his shirt.

"Yeah?" he asked in his flawless voice.

"Thank you..." I almost whispered.

I almost jumped when I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, who else is up this early?

"Hello?" I asked trying not to make my voice sound annoyed.

"Sam! You've gotta come over here right now!" Carly yelled in a panicked voice.

"Why?"

"I'll tell you when you get here, and is Freddie there?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Bring him too, it's important," she said urgently before hanging up.

"What's wrong?" Freddie asked with his usual concern filled voice.

"Carly wants us both there now."

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't know, she just said it's important," I explained before we both headed back.

When we got there we saw Carly pacing around the room and Spencer yelling at someone over the phone.

"We're here, so, what's the problem?" I asked.

"Me and Spencer are moving!" she yelled.

"What?" me and Freddie said in unison.

"Our dad called, he said he's coming back to his home and he wants us to be like a family again," she sighed.

"But you can't leave! What about iCarly? And what about us? You can't just leave us!" I yelled in frustration and Freddie grabbed my hand in attempt to calm me down.

"It's not like I want to move! And neither does Spencer! They're arguing over the phone right now about it!"

"This isn't fair! Why did your dad just decide now would be a good time to be a family again?" I said on the verge of tears again.

"I don't know!" she yelled clearly as angry as I was.

"Well where are you moving anyways?" Freddie asked.

"Maine," she sighed.

"Maine?! That's like on the opposite side of the country!" I yelled now holding back tears. As if I hadn't had enough to deal with, now my best friend is moving?

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**Okay, so, umm, I can't really figure out what to write here. Review? =)**


	20. Chapter 20

**I am soo sorry I took so long, and I'm not gonna make any excuses since you guys could probably care less about them, and the fact that I don't really have any other than my annoying writer's block that seems to always pop up at the worst times, but aside from the lateness of this chapter, thank you so much for reading, and a huge thank you to my amazingly wonderful reviewers who all deserve a life time supply of cookies: xNomii, The Laugher1234, earth-fairy2006, rockgirl1197, MythScavenger, StylishCandy, Flutter360, seddieisthebomb, kpfan72491, and last but most definitely not least, ohmygoshseddiex3! :D**

**Disclaimer: For the ten thousand and third time, I do not own iCarly.**

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Carly was moving tomorrow, permently. It isn't anything like when she had to move to Yakima, she'd only be a few hours away even if she had moved, and besides, I somehow knew she wouldn't move, it was just another one of those little bumps in the rode she occasionally has that last a few days until they're fixed, but it wasn't like that this time, nothing is turning out right anymore, no way she was staying.

I remember when her dad actually lived with her, no matter what she and Spencer did to try and convince him to stay, he wouldn't change his mind, not even consider staying, even after she burst into tears right in front of him.

So now I've lost my best friend. No one to have my back when I'd get in trouble in school and out. No one to talk to when something comes up. No one to be there for me.

I know you're probably all screaming in your mind "Hello! What about Freddie!?", but I mean he's a guy. There are just some things you can only talk to a girl about.

"Samantha, since you're obviously paying attention," said the sarcastic teacher I never bothered to learn the name of before continuing. "How would you like to answer the question?" she said smugly.

"False?" I answered not really caring what the question even was.

"No, the answer is 1886, and if you don't start paying attention in class you'll get another detention and you'll fail this class," she said after letting out a frustrated sigh.

"And I care because..?" I said just to annoy her, she so deserved it.

She completely ignored me and went on blabbing to the rest of the class about who knows what.

When class was over I let out a long sigh of relief, I mean that teacher's voice is like listening to a vacuum cleaner trying to clean a hardwood floor covered in nails for an hour.

The next class I wasn't looking forward to either since Cole sat across from me due to the ridiculous seating arrangement our art teacher forced us to sit in. He was on the other side of the room but we were facing each other so it was almost impossible not to look at each other.

Normally you'd picture an art class full of people painting on a large canvas, making muesum worthy creations, but no, our class was different, and not necessarily better. Our latest project was to create an imaginary animal out of clay that had our personalities-mine was a failure at this project.

So far mine was a blob of clay with out of proportion body parts that resembled our cafeteria's lunch, which isn't really that good. Horrible is an understatement.  
We also didn't get out own desks to work out, we had to share them with another person since our teacher doesn't want us asking too many questions so we're forced to ask the person next to us before asking the teacher. I unfortunately had to share my desk with Blaze, a.k.a. Cole's best friend.

"So what's going on between you and Cold?" he asked after about five minutes. I sighed.

"Nothing, and even if there was, it wouldn't be any of your business," I said trying to ignore his gaze.

I looked over at what Cole was making, and I had to admit, it actually looked pretty good, but before I could look at it too carefully, his eyes met mine, and I immediately remembered when I kissed him.

As soon as we pulled apart there were just so many thoughts going through my head, and none of them made sense. So I did the first thing that came to my mind. I ran.

I didn't want to look back, to see if he was chasing after me or just sitting there shocked, I just wanted to get away so of course I go to the only place that I can go-Carly's.

I mean I could go to Freddie's too, but I'd already lost enough of his trust, if I just ran in there all panicky with no explanation then he'll definitely know something's up. That and I don't want to feel anymore guilty then I already do.

I quickly looked away and back at my blob of clay.

The teacher then came around and stopped at my desk. I'd been expecting him to scold me like I was some dog he was trying to teach, but instead he said something else.

"This piece is unique, it shows a lot about you," he said examining my "unique" work of art. Wait, did he just call me a blob of clay?

"And how exactly I'd that?" I asked in a voice that made him sound like he'd lost his mind.

"It shows that you aren't afraid of showing any flaws, and that you'd rather be different than blend in with everyone else. Look around, do you see anyone else's sculpture looking like yours?" Okay, I think he actually has lost his mind. I just dolly nodded my head hoping he'd leave, and I guess I'm finally having a little luck because he left.

I didn't do much that class, actually, I don't recall really doing anything. All I did was roll a piece of clay into a ball, squish it, and start over again.

I occasionally glanced over at Cole who was almost done with his animal. Mine didn't even look like an animal, more like something you'd see in those really gross horror movies.

It was finally lunch- my favorite class, and the only one I can actually pass.

I immediately sat across from Carly, knowing that it would be extremely awkward knowing I'll never see her again after today.

"Hey," I said slightly calmer and quieter than I intended it to be.

"Hi," she said softly while eating what looked like yogurt before Freddie wandered over to the table with the same expression I had on right now, which wasn't a very happy one. He sat next to me, but didn't say anything.

"So I was thinking about this all day, but do you guys think we should do just one more iCarly after school? So we don't just leave the viewers wondering what happened to us?" Carly finally asked after about five minutes of awkward silence.

"It's only fair I guess," Freddie said and I nodded in agreement.

"So what are we gonna do? Just explain that we can't do iCarly anymore?" I asked as I poked my food with a fork.

"Well we should end it with something big, I mean how would you like it if one of your favorite shows just ended without some big finale?" Freddie answered.

"So what're we gonna do? We didn't plan anything out yet," Carly pointed out.

"We'll just have to figure something out, I guess," I said nonchalantly, but inside I was freaking out.


	21. Chapter 21

**I know the last chapter wasn't very eventful, but I didn't want to just jump from one idea to another and I think some of you were a little confused about some things and it was mainly to clarify some things, but hopefully you guys enjoy this chapter. Thanks for the reviews from MythScavenger, IronishRose, The Laugher1234, StylishCandy, beautiful belle, ohmygoshseddiex3, and xNomii. I also just wanna thank you guys for all the advice, it really helps. (:**

**Disclaimer: Would a teenage girl who spends her free time writing stories own a successful tv show such as iCarly? I think not.**

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Yesterday's iCarly was hard to pull, I mean who can keep up a smile when you know your best friend is about to leave? And after telling the viewers it was the last iCarly ever, it was almost impossible not to frown, or cry for that matter.

When the show had ended the page was flooded with comments which I read silently on Carly's laptop as Carly and Freddie were watching a new Girly Cow which didn't even make them grin, let alone laugh.

Most of the comments consisted of people saying how upset they are and there were a lot of sad faces. Some of them were glad we ended the show, which of course cause stupid arguments among the comments. A few even wrote threats such as 'If they don't find a way to keep doing iCarly I will eat my my pet goldfish!!! :(' Apparently some people have no life.

The rest of the night no one dared to speak, and before it was even 5 am Carly was gone, along with everything in the apartment which I can no longer recognize.

When I got to school I wasn't really up to listening to a lecture from my history teacher so I decided to spend the period wandering the halls since it was raining out.

I suddenly heard voices around the corner and I couldn't help but go into spy mode and do some eavesdropping.

I looked over only to see Cole and some other guy talking. This outta be good.

"Why does it have to be her? Can't you just pick another girl?" I heard Cole say.

"Sorry dude, we made a bet, but you can always back out and give me the money now," said the other guy.

"I already owe enough money, I don't need a thousand dollars added to the dept."

"Well then you're just gonna have to make her become your girlfriend," responded the other guy.

"Do you know how hard it is to get a girl like Sam to like you? Plus she's all over that dork," Cole spat.

I felt a sudden wave of betrayal fall upon me. I was all part of some bet? I know I should be crying my eyes out by now, any other girl would be, but instead I felt like ripping the guy's head off.

I should've known from the start that he'd just be trying to use me, but as part of a bet? Who does that? Apparently Cole does. As if my life weren't bad enough.

I heard footsteps coming my way and I ran into the first room I could find. Luckily that room was empty.

I stayed there the rest of the period, and my thoughts were still messed up. I mean first my "parents" kick me out, then I end in the hospital several times, I fall for two guys at once, my best friend moves away, and I find out that I was being used as part of some stupid bet? It's kinda a lot for one person.

The bell rang which snapped me out of my endless web of thoughts.

The first thing I saw coming out of the room was Cole making out with some girl with her back against one of the lockers. My locker. Guess I won't be coming to class prepared, but it's not like I ever did 's amazing how I could ever even consider liking this guy.

The rest of the a.m. classes went by a lot slower than I would've liked, and by a lot, I really mean a _lot_. It was like each class's time was extended to four times the normal length.

When lunch came I sat down at the first free table I saw and only seconds later Freddie sat down across from me.

We both managed to talk for a few minutes, but that all changed when a certain someone slung his arm around my shoulder and sat next to me.

I immediately tensed up and saw Freddie's eyes harden. I quickly shrugged Cole's arm off my shoulder in disgust from the conversation I heard him have with his friend earlier.

"Hey Sam, Sam's friend," he said as if things were totally normal. I saw Freddie's jaw clench and I knew Cole was purposefully trying to give him the wrong idea about him and me.

"Cole, why don't you just go sit with your friends and leave us alone," I said harsher than I thought I'd sound.

"Ouch Sam, that hurts," he said placing his hand over his heart with fake sadness and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.

I took one last bite of my pizza before storming out of the cafeteria. I just don't think I can take another second of this guy without wanting to rip his eyes out of his skull.

I know that if I explode in front of him and tell everyone in the cafeteria about his little bet I would not only humiliate myself, but also lose my chance at getting revenge.

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**Sorry it's a little short, I finished writing this at nearly 1 am so my brain is a little tired :P Reviews are greatly appreciated, hope you liked the chapter! x)**


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